China...by mouth.

With the urging of a close friend of mine...Ted...I am now starting a blog...one that will take you through the gastronomic trials and tribulations of a dietitian.

No no, don't worry, I will not bore you with dank, dark, soap-boxy schpiel about why people in industrialized nations are getting overweight and obese, and what they need to do to prevent this...oh wait, I guess I already did. Well, I can't help who I am. I will likely do it from time to time.

Anyway, let the games begin...welcome to blog number 1: A tour of China...by mouth.

Ok, well, given the fact that I just got back from a lovely vacation in China, it is fresh in my mind. And, given the fact that China is a huge country...this may 1) take a long time to get through...or 2) may take several entries...you in suspense yet?!

Actually, rather than take you on a tour, I'm just gonna have to give the highlights...and by highlights, I mean things that were delicious, disgusting, dramatic, or just plain drivel. (Don't you just love all the aliteration?)

Let me first start off by telling you what foods I am willing to try, and what will never ever, I repeat, never enter my mouth.

Dietary Rules of Dana:

1. I'll eat any plant substance...ie. fruit, vegetable, root, bean, legume etc.
2. I'll eat an animal so long as it is:
3. Bipedal (only has two legs)--hence this means, I will not eat a cow or a pig that has had a leg cut off, or even two legs cut off...these stipulations do not negate the bipedalness factor.
4. It is not cute--this means I don't eat dogs, (please also reference rule 3), or ducks (unless it's a very special occasion, this is one exception which I will further explain).
5. A fish--by this I mean it has fins, and swims. Therefore I don't eat shrimps, lobsters, crabs, mussels, or anything else that does not look like a fish.
6. However...and this is a big however...I will not eat a "fish" that is the size and shape of a bean sprout and has little black eyes that stare up at you. (Funny story to come later.)
7. I have to know what it is first.
8. I don't eat bugs, worms, or other slimy things. This includes snakes and centipedes.
9. I don't do dairy.

Alright...so, now that I've gotten the dietary laws of Dana out of the way, let's begin our extravagastroganza.

To be continued...

I mean c'mon if I told you everything now, what would make you want to come back for more?! It's all in my plan...all in my plan.

Finally, to end each post, I'll answer a dietary question...

Question one from Ted: "Why are Asian people so skinny?"

Dana's discourse: They move more and eat less.

Cheers, Chows, and happy eating!!